Shadowconn's blog

I can't wait until I meet all my goals. It will finally mean freedom. Freedom to enjoy the holidays. Freedom to enjoy my own birthday. No more lack of presents, cake or ice cream for either holiday. No more spending them alone.

It'll be a great day when I can finally plan for my own birthday and actually throw a party for it and have family/friends attend and not have to worry about going to work the next day or that day or whatever.

I am beyond sick and tired of it. I swear this will be the last year I do this. Five years is ENOUGH.

I have accomplished absolutely nothing today. I went to the store and then I went and had lunch at the potato festival. I arrived late which is never good. Thaat meant it was already crowded, hence my grabbing lunch and leaving. From that point on I've really done absolutely nothing. All the vegetables I intend to plant are planted.

I was exhausted this morning.  That's pretty much par the course these days and it will only get worse as the summer approaches.  Though, I doubt I'll notice the weather much.  I'll be too busy.  I have a request to help someone write a book.  I fully intend to help them.  Hell, it might even be worth the time.  I think the person wants a ghost writer which means no name recognition, but lots of cash.  The reverse ends up being name recognition and no cash.  I'm not really sure which is better.  I think I'd prefer no money and some name recognition, but oh well.

My schedule changes either at the end of next week or the following week.  We are forced to work sunday - Thursday.  This is a problem as I won't be able to have my laundry done for 15.00.  More likely it will be closer to 20+ dollars every week.   However, there is an upside to this.  I will be able to submit stories and such every friday all summer.  That will definately help things.

I'm less than thrilled with my current job. Thankfully, I didn't take it to advance. I didn't really take it to like it. I took it for the MONEY - which they pay. I can tell already that summer is going to be rediculous. A new route plan was implimented which makes the Supervisor feel as though he can have 4 hour morning meetings. Well, if we're going to have 4 hour morning meetings, then our work day needs to be 4 hours - START TO FINISH. IE: If I have 4 hours of drive time, then I don't have time to stop anywhere. That was the case today. I have 5 stops and 4 hours of driving. That's an 8 hour day. NOT give me a meeting day AND make me work 8+ hours. Today ended up being 13.5 hours and I still had 2,5 hours more work to do MINIMUM. I hope I can catch up next week (early in the week)

They did pay me this week so I can save more money. I'm not sure how much more money, but it will be something.

My indoor garden seems to be doing pretty well. I planted 72+ plants and it looks like I'm going to get about 40 to 50 plants out of it. THe beans, corn and tomatos are doing the best. The onions are starting to sprout and I have a few jalepenos starting to sprout. I have to take the "lid" off tonight beucase the beans have grown larger than the lid. and all of this has happened in the last 6 days. It hasn't even been a week yet. Pretty good for being indoors in a window. my next goal is to get some green peppers, carrots and potatos growing. Carrots and potatos will have to go in a large pot/vase. They cannot be replanted. Everything else can be replanted in a few weeks. I plan to buy some fertilizer this weekend (liquid) so I can throw that in the water. I may buy some other various vegetables just to see if they grow. I don't need 72 green pepper plants. I'll have to think.

This applies to relationships. People tend to catagorize into one catagory of the other. I've been both throughout my life. At some points I give, at others I take. At this point in my life, I'd say I'm neither. I'm neither willing to give nor am I willing to take. I don't want anythng and I expect nothing in return. this makes me single. Why am I single? Becuase no one fascinates me enough to do otherwise. There isn't anything anyone has to offer that would make a difference to me right now. There is also nothing I could offer that would make a difference. I tend to believe this is becuase I'm just too busy. I need to get out of the workforce in order to do anything further. And so . . . I am in limbo.

I, like most people, use paypal to make purchases on-line because it's "safer" especially when I don't know the Company or it's not a major chain. So far this has worked well. Over the last month I've been in a dispute with a Company over a 38.00 transaction. Like most of you I don't throw my money away regardless of the amount. Perhaps I could have gone shopping and bought much needed clothing with that 38.00 or taken one of my friends out to eat with it. As it stands, the fraudulant Company that never gave me my product gets to keep it, thanks to Paypal. I reinformed them of their mistake last night expecting no resoulution, but at least expecting someone to read it, note it, and respond back to me in something more than a FORM LETTER.

Transaction Amount: -$38.00 USD

Seller's Name: ByOS Technologies

Unfortunately, PayPal was not able to resolve the dispute between the
two parties due to the item purchased being virtual or intangible. As a
result, PayPal has taken no action on either account at this time.
However, the seller's account has been noted for future reference.

The Buyer Complaint Policy only applies to payments for tangible,
physical goods which can be shipped, and excludes all other payments,
including but not limited to payments for intangibles, for services or
for licenses and other access to digital content. In addition, items
prohibited in the PayPal Acceptable Use Policy are ineligible for
coverage.

To learn about the investigation process and our policies, click the
"Legal Agreement" link at the bottom of any PayPal webpage and click
"User Agreement".

Thank you for your cooperation with our investigation.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact us again.

Sincerely,
**********
Protection Services Department
PayPal, an eBay Company

So in otherwords, if you're buying anything virtual, downloadable music, programs, etc... Use your credit card. At least then you can do a CHARGEBACK!

Shadow

I'm going through a story I wrote when I was 15ish. I had an interesting voice at 15. I had probably ben writing since I was 11 or 12. I never dated anything back then unless it was for an assignment. This one was an assignment so it has a date.

I did keep everything I wrote back then. Not that the handwriting is legible. I've never had terribly legible handwriting. But the work is still in my possession. I mostly wrote short stories when I was younger and since magazines want short stories, that is where I'm getting them. it's also easier to edit and change something already written than it is to dream up something new.

I guess if I ever want to reenter the dating scene, I better get writing. Working = no freetime.

I just saw the Archives section on this thing. I had no idea this thing started in 2006. Two years. Makes me wonder what I've been doing. Obviously not enough cause I'm still working and I'm currently in a job with the worst hours I've ever had. Since this thing doesn't have a true TIMESTAMP, I'll tell you that it's 4:38am and I have to be on the road in about an hour and a half.

No, this is not what I signed up for. I signed up for a position that allowed me to start and finish when I wanted, with very little supervision, an open attitude, helpful policies, eager employees, and success. They are 0 for 6. I had a friend in VA Beach tell me he was gonna get a job working with this Company, and I said, Don't. It's not worth it. Yeah, the money is good and it's something to do while I wait for a book deal, but it's not a carreer choice by any means.

This particular position has been a lot of firsts and none of them good.

1. First time I haven't completely understood a job within 48 hours.
2. First time I've ever not gotten a 90 day raise. (I was later given a raise by HR. 1%)
3. First time I've ever been called an "Idiot" by a supervisor. Yes literally, we were called idiots.
4. First time it's ever been repeatedly insinuated that everyone doing my position is stupid and lazy.
5. This is not the first time that my job has been threatened daily, but it is the first time that these threats are NOT a jesting matter. They really do intend to fire me at some point.
6. First time I've been forced to 75% dress like a boy. they don't have female shirts or jackets.
7.First time I've had a supervisor call me and tell me a coworker died.
8. this is also the first time I've had things promised to me and not gotten them. They promised me an HHR. It's been 7 months. I have a ratty, disgusting, horrible to drive, can't see out the back, VAN! this isn't even on the same level as walmaart promising me I'd make assistant manager next time they were hiring for it. An HHR is about LIFE. The van is dangerous!
9. First time my employer actually thinks all this is acceptable.

Yes, I am floored, but the only thing I can do is keep making notes on the matter and keep going to work and keep trying my best.

Hopefully, I'll hear back from an agent soon.

Onthe birght side, I should get the Tax rebate this week. That will help. I'm saving all my extra money. All my tax checks, bonuses and whatever base salary I don't use, gets tossed into a savings account.

Okay. So you're much more likely to hear more from me now that semagic works with VOX. I'm not sure how well I'll like changing journals all the time in order to post, but hey. It works and this is my first post using it.

This weekend has been rough. I worked about 60 hours last week and felt like Hell on Saturday. I feel much better today, but I have to work tomorrow. SUCK ASS.

I also got a call on Saturday about one of my coworkers. He died in a car wreck due to a drunk driver. He was hit head on. that pretty well destroyed my mood for most of the weekend. Thankfully, I have some good friends on MM that offered some support and ideas about such a thing. I had never had that happen before. No one has ever called me and told me that a coworker died - much less a coworker I knew. So it was a little rattling. It stopped me from going to bike week this weekend. I just didn't want to be on that beach.

So saturday, I went to the gym, dropped off my laundry. Then I started moving my office from the kitchen into the living room. The space is much bigger. About halfway through, I started to move my large bookshelf. It's been moved about 4 times and isn't very stable. It's a walmart bookshelf so what do you expect? Not much. So when I went to move it, it collapsed. (I did have all the books off of it. at that point, I had 2 choices, buy another crappy bookshelf or make my own out of real wood. I chose the latter. Some of the shelves are crooked, but I was in a hurry to put this back together before tomorrow. I didn't even stain it. So, at some point, I need to tear it apart again and redo it after I buy a level. I may also want adjustable shelves at some point, but since I made it, I can adapt it later. Wood is wood.

I sorta got a slow start off to today. i lounged around quite a bit before going and picking up my laundry. Then I got a submission ready. So far, my novel is in the submission process and I have two short stories in the submission process. I'm working on 3 more short stories while I wait to hear back about the novel. it's not a matter of IF I get published. It's a matter of WHEN. I am THAT determined. I want to write for a living, and I WILL write for a livng. There is no other option.

Opera still doesn't work too well with this, but I might as well tell you guys what I've been up to since december.  Working
sleeping, editing, and running my game.  Tonight I am cracking open my new databased website.  I need to get that up 
and running very very soon. It's likley that I have a book signing coming up.